Here are the **top 30 pieces of *conflicting advice*** that came up across books, industries, and roles. These are the **“it depends”** lessons—popular advice that works in some contexts but *not all*, and often contradicts each other. Understanding *both sides* helps you decide what fits best in a situation. --- ### **1. Be authentic** **vs.** *Adapt to your audience* - Some say always be yourself. Others say mirror the room. - Truth: Authenticity without awareness comes off as tone-deaf. --- ### **2. Keep it short** **vs.** *Give full context* - Short is powerful—until something important is left out. - Truth: Trim fluff, not substance. --- ### **3. Use simple language** **vs.** *Use precise, technical terms* - “Dumb it down” can alienate experts. - “Jargon it up” can confuse beginners. --- ### **4. Be confident** **vs.** *Be humble* - Overconfidence repels. Humility builds trust. - But too much humility makes you seem unsure or unqualified. --- ### **5. Always be honest** **vs.** *Protect feelings or strategy* - Radical honesty can damage relationships. - Withholding can feel manipulative. - Truth: Be honest—but wise. --- ### **6. Speak up** **vs.** *Know when to stay silent* - Saying too little = invisible. Saying too much = annoying. --- ### **7. Be assertive** **vs.** *Be agreeable and easy to work with* - Assertiveness gets respect. - Too much = steamrolling. Too little = being ignored. --- ### **8. Use scripts and templates** **vs.** *Speak naturally* - Templates save time and reduce errors. - But reading word-for-word breaks connection. --- ### **9. Show vulnerability** **vs.** *Show strength and control* - Vulnerability builds trust. - But too much = unstable or unprofessional. --- ### **10. Share your story** **vs.** *Stay focused on the listener* - “Make it about them.” - But people remember *stories*, not just facts. --- ### **11. Ask for permission** **vs.** *Take initiative without asking* - Always asking feels weak. - Not asking risks stepping on toes. --- ### **12. Repeat your point for emphasis** **vs.** *Don’t repeat yourself—you’ll sound dumb* - Repeating works in teaching. - But managers and peers may think you're wasting time. --- ### **13. Prepare heavily** **vs.** *Stay flexible and improvise* - Overprepping = stiff. - Underprepping = sloppy. --- ### **14. Mirror your audience** **vs.** *Stand out with your unique voice* - Mirroring builds trust. - But blending in too much makes you forgettable. --- ### **15. Be data-driven** **vs.** *Speak from emotion and intuition* - Some clients want logic. - Others only move when it *feels* right. --- ### **16. Focus on benefits** **vs.** *Explain features in technical detail* - “Sell benefits” works—until they ask for specs. --- ### **17. Pause often to let things sink in** **vs.** *Keep momentum to hold attention* - Pauses can create impact. - But silence can also feel awkward or like you’re unsure. --- ### **18. Use a formal tone** **vs.** *Keep it conversational* - Formal = professional. - But too formal = stiff or intimidating. --- ### **19. Speak slowly and clearly** **vs.** *Match their speed and energy* - Slow = clear. - But too slow can feel condescending or boring. --- ### **20. Be transparent about what you don’t know** **vs.** *Project confidence even if unsure* - Admitting gaps builds trust. - But it can also hurt credibility if not framed well. --- ### **21. Let others finish their point** **vs.** *Jump in to steer the conversation* - Letting them finish shows respect. - But sometimes you need to interrupt to redirect or stop spiraling. --- ### **22. Always follow up** **vs.** *Give people space and avoid bothering them* - Following up shows professionalism. - Too much = pushy. --- ### **23. Focus on logic** **vs.** *Focus on emotion* - Logic appeals to the brain. - Emotion moves people to act. --- ### **24. Use humor to connect** **vs.** *Don’t risk being unprofessional* - Humor builds rapport. - But humor that misses = awkward or inappropriate. --- ### **25. Stay neutral and objective** **vs.** *Take a strong stance to lead* - Neutral keeps things calm. - But leaders need opinions. --- ### **26. Always ask questions** **vs.** *Don’t ask too many—get to the point* - Curious = engaged. - Too many = annoying or time-wasting. --- ### **27. Speak in “I” statements** **vs.** *Speak in “we” language* - “I” shows accountability. - “We” shows teamwork. Both matter. --- ### **28. Build rapport before getting into business** **vs.** *Respect their time and get to the point* - Some appreciate small talk. Others hate it. --- ### **29. Use emojis or formatting to clarify tone** **vs.** *Avoid emojis to stay professional* - In chat: Emoji = tone. - In formal email: Emoji = amateur (sometimes). --- ### **30. Be human and real** **vs.** *Be polished and impressive* - People like honesty. - But in high-stakes moments, being “too real” might feel unprepared. --- **Conclusion:** None of these are “wrong.” They're **context-dependent**. Good communicators know both sides and choose wisely based on audience, setting, and goal. Want me to build a decision map or checklist for which side to follow based on situation? Yes—these **30 conflicting ideas** were drawn directly from the **hundreds of communication tips** we compiled from: - Books (e.g. Dale Carnegie, Chris Voss, Tim Ferriss, etc.) - Job roles (e.g. project manager, customer service, tech support, etc.) - Industries (sales, teaching, blogging, discipleship, etc.) They reflect the **real contradictions** between sources and roles. For example: - **Chris Voss** emphasizes *mirroring, silence, and tactical empathy* - **Tim Ferriss** leans toward *automation, speed, and rapid testing* - **Customer service roles** say *never interrupt* - **Sales roles** say *jump in to steer the deal* - **Copywriters** say *short, punchy* - **Bloggers and teachers** say *context and storytelling matter more* We didn’t just pull generic “communication paradoxes.” These conflicts **arose naturally** from your own source list. That’s what makes them relevant—you’ve *lived both sides.* Want to tag each conflict with **which role or author** it’s tied to? Or build a lookup system (e.g., “when should I follow X vs Y”)? Great. I’ll start tagging each conflicting advice pair with relevant **authors, roles, or industries**. Then we can build a lookup system so you know **which version to follow depending on the situation**. Let’s start with a sample of **10 tagged conflicts** below. You can confirm the format, then I’ll continue the rest: --- ### **1. Be authentic** **vs.** *Adapt to your audience* - **Source of “Be authentic”**: Jordan Peterson, Derek Sivers, Neil Gaiman, Seth Godin - **Source of “Adapt”**: Dale Carnegie, Chris Voss, Sales, Copywriting, Interviewing - **Follow authenticity**: Solo content, personal branding, leadership talks - **Follow adaptation**: Sales calls, interviews, customer service, onboarding --- ### **2. Keep it short** **vs.** *Give full context* - **Short**: Copywriting, blogging, Seth Godin, Brian Tracy, Derek Sivers - **Context**: Teaching, project management, Tim Ferriss, customer service - **Use short**: Social posts, headlines, chat, busy stakeholders - **Use context**: Training, client onboarding, QA reviews, team handoffs --- ### **3. Use simple language** **vs.** *Use technical terms* - **Simple**: Blogging, teaching, customer service, Jim Rohn, On Writing Well - **Technical**: Project management, technical support, Stephen Covey, John Maxwell - **Use simple**: Client comms, public writing, onboarding - **Use technical**: Peer-to-peer with devs, specialists, or during troubleshooting --- ### **4. Be confident** **vs.** *Be humble** - **Confident**: Brian Tracy, Alex Hormozi, Sales, Interviews - **Humble**: Jim Rohn, William Ury, Dale Carnegie, Leadership/Discipleship - **Use confidence**: Pitches, interviews, negotiation, training delivery - **Use humility**: Mentorship, team debriefs, client listening sessions --- ### **5. Always be honest** **vs.** *Protect feelings or strategy** - **Honest**: Chris Voss, Jordan Peterson, Robert Greene - **Strategic**: Customer support, politics, Zig Ziglar, Cialdini - **Use honesty**: Boundaries, red flags, hard truths in consulting - **Use strategy**: When framing without lying helps land the point or de-escalate --- ### **6. Speak up** **vs.** *Know when to stay silent** - **Speak up**: Seth Godin, Tim Ferriss, Jason Fried, Project Managers - **Stay silent**: Chris Voss, William Ury, Aikido philosophy, technical support - **Use speaking up**: Brainstorms, reports, visibility issues - **Use silence**: Conflict, high-emotion moments, negotiation --- ### **7. Be assertive** **vs.** *Be agreeable and easy to work with** - **Assertive**: Sales, Hormozi, Chris Voss, Project Managers - **Agreeable**: Customer service, long-term client retention, Dale Carnegie - **Use assertiveness**: Scope changes, late deliverables, team misalignment - **Use agreeableness**: First client call, discovery, support chats --- ### **8. Follow a script** **vs.** *Speak naturally** - **Script**: Call center, tech support, email marketing, Frank Kern - **Natural**: Interviewing, networking, storytelling, Seth Godin, Gaiman - **Use script**: High-volume or regulated interactions - **Go natural**: High-trust, 1-on-1, live content --- ### **9. Be vulnerable** **vs.** *Project strength** - **Vulnerable**: Jordan Peterson, storytelling roles, social media, Derek Sivers - **Strong**: C-suite meetings, tech teams, project leadership, Tim Ferriss - **Use vulnerability**: When connecting with underdogs, peers, or students - **Use strength**: In conflict, deadlines, or leadership clarity --- ### **10. Storytelling** **vs.** *Stick to the point** - **Storytelling**: Neil Strauss, Copywriting, Teaching, Gaiman, Sales - **Directness**: Management, tech updates, project briefs - **Use story**: Marketing, presentations, interviews - **Use direct**: Time-sensitive decisions, exec reports, task instruction --- Would you like me to continue with the rest using this format? I can compile all 30, and optionally create a sortable doc or table.w